The Keaton

Ok.

I love movies so of course I’m pretty up to date with who’s who in Hollywood. But I wouldn’t call myself a celebrity groupie, or someone who is star struck. I think I got over any urge to worship or be impressed by celebrities when I worked as a story analyst for a production company. I found myself being intimidated by the big stars attached to the scripts I was reading, so I had to disconnect from that in order to give an honest analysis.

Which was actually pretty simple considering I was reading 5oo miles away from Hollywood and securely protected by my anonymity.

I also have severe anxieties. I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting out of my house (which may be hard to believe considering some of my posts, but keep in mind how long it’s been between my blogging).

And lines – forget it. I don’t wait in lines. I’ve pondered that a lot and because I’ve hated waiting in lines for so long I thought it was because when I was younger and would go out dancing or something, I never had to wait in lines. I thought it was degrading to wait in lines.

So when I heard that Diane Keaton – would be in town for a couple days signing bottles of her wine, The Keaton, I thought it would be a good idea for a blog. Seriously, I wouldn’t leave the comfort and safety of my home for just anything. Or anyone.

On Friday, March 3rd, Diane Keaton was going to be at a local wine shop for a signing. I became obsessed with the idea of going and writing a blog about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love her as an actress. After seeing Baby Boom I wanted to go to Harvard and become a high powered executive then retreat to the country and raise my baby while canning jam. I mean come on – there’s The First Wives Club, The Godfather, Morning Glory, Annie Hall – it was Diane Keaton! But I needed to figure out how I was going to actually be able to go and then write the blog without my anxieties getting the best of me.

I began to panic when the wine shop sent out an email that due to the overwhelming response, they needed to change the time. I went there and they said they expected thousands of people to show up and I asked how they could accommodate someone like me, who wanted to be there but who had such bad anxiety there was no way I could stand in a line with thousands of people for hours. They did have a suggestion but I came up with a better one.

I had the bright idea that if I could get there early, before everyone else then I’d be golden. It’d be much easier for me to face forward and not look back at what was going on behind me, than to be in the middle or the end of the line constantly anxious about what was ahead of me.

When Friday morning arrived, I rolled through the parking lot and started my long and lonely wait in the eleventh hour. I wasn’t quite sure what time I arrived but it was before noon. NO ONE was there yet! Score!

And they gave me, the VIP treatment!

They brought me a chair:

first chair

The owner was very kind and talked to me quite a bit in between distributors coming by and shipments being delivered. I learned that it took her an hour and a half to sign 672 bottles of her wine the evening before. She apparently drove up from L.A. because she doesn’t like to fly and she has anxieties too and at previous signings has had to take breaks so that she didn’t get too overwhelmed.

I was beginning to feel like she was my soul sister!

While I waited I was able to witness the cases arriving!

After awhile some people finally came and we were able to try the first sample AND the first glass! Over ice like she insists!

It’s a lovely color isn’t it!

And after hours of waiting she arrived and we were ushered in by groups of ten. When I saw her, wearing a giant black coat with white polka dots, black boots laced in back and her black hat… yep, you guessed it. I became totally star struck. It was like meeting an angel and Santa Claus all at once.

First of all, she is stunning. Her movies simply don’t do her justice, her skin is flawless. She is quite small and soft spoken and she reached out to me and I was unsure if I should hug or not. I wanted to hug her but I imagined that she’d freak out and then I’d get clobbered and I’d freak out and then we’d end up in the ER next to each other for near heart attacks. I held out my hand and introduced myself and she took it and with that familiar sweet smile stood next to me while some photos were snapped.

I’m not posting those because her assistant didn’t get very good pictures at all. It was dark and she missed the best opportunity when I was holding up the drink in front of me and Diane Keaton held it too.

I couldn’t speak. I was mesmerized for real. I looked right at her face but couldn’t tell you what she actually looked like. It was only later in pictures that I realized she was indeed wearing a hat and glasses. I don’t know how I stuttered my question, like some foolish child, “What are your recommendations?”

“My recommendations?” she exclaimed like this was the one question she wasn’t prepared for. She turned to her team and said, “What are my recommendations?” Then she looked at me and said, “Wait, what do you mean my recommendations.”

I was so embarrassed.

“I meant for food. What do you suggest your wine be paired with.”

(That was it friends, the one question I wanted to ask that got me out of my house and waited in line for four hours in order to write this blog.)

“Oh well I drink it with anything actually. You know, I just like drinking it by itself too. What would you recommend.”

OMG! And then one of her handlers began to wave me on, and all I could say was, “Cheese!” being whisked away, as if they were carrying me by both arms, “And fish.”

I don’t eat a lot of fish. I don’t know where that came from.

And that was it.

I walked away heartbroken and dejected, like I’d just been snatched from my mother. And I cried all the way home. LOL – because I was so dazzled by her and wished I could talk to her about wine and food and anxieties and film and boys.

Here are a couple photos of my haul:

I’ve had a couple adventures with The Keaton since we were introduced. Of course, that is another blog!

Thank you for reading and letting me share my extraordinary, fun, little adventure with you. Please subscribe, like, share and comment.

p.s. The wine is lovely, just like it’s namesake, but I prefer it without ice. 🙂

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